Do not put things off when it comes to your health

 I had put off a muscle biopsy for a year because I was scared and because I needed to have a transfusion before I had it. It was fear of the unknown, never having had either procedure before. This was the muscle biopsy that diagnosed my Myositis after all these years. This is how I felt when I was finally diagnosed from a muscle biopsy.

A bit of bad luck or the ripple effect

Yesterday I took my wallet out of my bag to pay for something over the internet.

I was asked to take my son to the train station and forgot my wallet.

There was no petrol in the car so I went to the petrol station.

I could not get petrol as I had no wallet.

I drove home to get it but ran out of petrol.

My phone I had misplaced the day before and even when I rang it could not be found.

As I had no phone I had to walk home which was about 1 and a half kilometres.

Today I can hardly walk at all!

Memory is a good thing

Almost every part of me is aching - jaw, wrist, shoulders, upper back, ankles, hips - and it has been like this for a long time but when I look back it is not the pain I recall. I have very fond memories of holidays and events, occassions when all the family were together. I remember all the happy times and the sad times and not one of these memories involves pain.

I am with James Barrie the author of Peter Pan when he said " God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December". Not that this is my December.

James Matthew Barrie (1860 – 1937 )

Bronze statue of Peter Pan in London's Kensington Gardens created in 1912

Peter Pan and Wendy cover published in 1915



Once a dancer

This weekend I pottered around, mostly inside, tidying and sorting, sitting and standing.

When I went outside on the uneven ground I watched my steps very carefully.

I wondered about a cane and whether it would be more of a hindrance than a help at this stage and thought about youthfulness and the use and movement of the body and how the way we move has a big say in how we appear in relation to getting old.

 I quietly and momentarily grieved for the movement freedom of my youth and realised it was ironic that I should get this disease as I was, for many years, a dancer.

exhausted again

I feel so bad and so weak I can hardly type.

I overdid it on the weekend at my grandson's christening.

3 days later and I feel so bad - aching almost all over, headaches and very weak - hard to sit upright without support and hard to stay on computer. 

Live and learn.

I thought I had learnt this lesson!