No longer rage against the disease
There are many things I have acccepted now, at this stage, about this myositis. Many things I do differently. It is hard to think about them and put them into words
as I feel a sadness coming over me. Is this why we surround ourselves with music and amusements and busyness? Even as I try to list them here my mind becomes befuddled and does not let me think. Am I trying to protect myself?
Just before, in the kitchen, I was creating a list of what has changed, in my head, and now it has escaped me.
I no longer rage against the disease as I did in the early days and as I see many newcomers to the diagnosis do. I accept that I cannot do many things that I did before with ease:
I no longer dance or do tai chi or even yoga though I do some yoga stretches;
I no longer do things without thinking as I know the consequences of doing an activity for too long or doing it at all. I don't really do anything for longer than half an hour because I must move and change positions and change which muscles I use before they become too painful or too stiff.
I had meant for this post to be about specifics but maybe another time...
What have you accepted in your chronic disease?